


Baker's Dozen Drabbles

by Magical_Muffin_Ride



Category: Naruto
Genre: F/M, Fae & Fairies, Gen, M/M, superhero au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-18
Updated: 2018-12-18
Packaged: 2019-09-22 06:50:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 5,305
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17055176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magical_Muffin_Ride/pseuds/Magical_Muffin_Ride
Summary: A collection of Drabbles and Short Stories for the Naruto fandom. Keep in mind there are warnings on individual chapters and the genres vary. Requests welcome.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Platonic fae!Sasori and Sakura. Adorable. 
> 
> No warnings needed.

She hadn't been older than five when her mother would let her out alone into the yard. Not noticing her mother watching from the kitchen window, Sakura relished the lack of hand-holding and gentle pushes to play gently with dolls. Tucking her ragdoll under an arm, the child hiked up her dress and ran further into the yard. To fresh eyes, it seemed like an open plain that was hers only instead of a slightly overgrown lawn.

Soft grass tickled her bare feet and cushioned her tumbles as she chased after the spring butterflies. Tiny seeds stuck to her hair and dress like stars and tasted fuzzy on her tongue when she ate them. As Sakura went on further, she would often glanced back at the cottage to see if her mother was there. Each time, there was nothing and it emboldened the girl.

Enough so, that she reached the line between yard and woods where the little odd stones sat. Mama had said they were older than all of them and just marked territory. Papa said little tiny fae lived inside and left treats for good child. Sakura believed neither; there wasn't a fence and the stones had no windows nor doors. Who would want that in a house?

Leaning against her favorite, the largest and most bulbous, Sakura propped her doll up against her stomach and fed her the sticky star seeds. It was a very good girl-doll and ate dinner without fuss. Therefore, Sakura stood and promised to go get some dessert for it.

Dessert was a twist mass of grass and seed topped with a few pink hairs. She had tried to use dirt, but it proved too dry and crumbled apart.

When she turned back, there was a man crouched and looking over her doll.

No one else was supposed to live nearby and Sakura was always told to stay away from any strangers. Still, mama would see the man and call Sakura back in a hurry and that would just ruin any chance of being alone again! Puffed up with righteous fury, the girl strolled up to the man and demanded he leave. This was her family's land and he wasn't even invited!

The man just lazily looked up at her and the girl took in a sharp gasp at his face. Smooth and soft with large doe eyes and a rosebud of a mouth; just like those beautiful dolls in the windows that Sakura dreamt of owning. Even the shock of red hair only made him seem more of a toy than anything else.

Ah, but toys didn't make her feel so terrified as this man did. His face was like a painted angel and nothing seemed terrible about his gaze but…

The sleeves of his robe only covered up to his wrist and what she saw was twisted up and dead like an old wasp nest. When his fingers curled out she heard them snap like dry kindling on fire and Sakura was so close to running back to mama for safety. But, her doll was still there and if she lost it then she would be in so much trouble and never get a new one!

Frustration made tears well up as she demanded the man leave again. And once more with a stomping foot to try and frighten him off. When Sakura took a breather from the ordeal, and sucked in a few tears, while the man only blinked before a dead finger brushed against her doll.

Sakura did scream then, out of pure anger because _that was hers_ , but it got stuck on the lump from the crying and came out as some weird hiccup. Fully set on pummelling the man now, she had only just balled up her fists when her little cloth doll moved. The legs were full of only batting, yet they stood strong and never even trembled as a first few steps were taken. Then the doll dipped into the most graceful of cursties and Sakura almost returned one just from the politeness drilled into her.

Under the dappled sunlight, the two of them watched silently as the doll started to dance. It wasn't anything like Sakura had ever seen at the few gatherings she had been too. This dance instead was so fast that the doll almost became a blur. Even leaves were kicked up just from the sheer force behind the moves.

Each leap made her gasp as the doll seemed to defy gravity with every one. Alas, the end came too soon and the doll sunk gracefully into a heap on the forest floor. Sakura quickly gathered it up to her and turned to thank the man with a grin.

He was gone and she was alone.

That night Sakura dreamt of being older and dancing with that odd man. Kicking up leaves and spinning just like her doll had.

Never again did he visit.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Old old writing for fleshing out a 'darker' superhero au. It was fun to think about, but a mess to figure out a plot for.
> 
> Warnings for stress if anything.

Right before Naruto walked into the restaurant, she knew she was being followed. She felt something twitch in her back and years of drills taught her to pause and focus. Pretending to tie her shoes, she knelt down and cocked her head as hands worked the laces into double knots. Just in case running would be involved.

People stepped by her without a glance and she couldn't hear anything pause to wait. That just meant it wasn't an ordinary person after her which just really made things worse. A cape maybe? She was dressed down in civies and even then very few villians would be so disrespectful to bother her now.

Unless, of course, it was tiny, sandy, and broody again. Because crawling into her sheets once a month wasn't enough obviously for him. In that case, she would grab a bite and shoo him off back to his own city. Naruto really didn't feel dealing with 'mommy issues' and being spooned all night while sand filled her bed. Three times was enough, especially after the biting last time.

Whomever it was, she could still sense them watching her as she straightened up and grimaced. It probably was just Gaara or someone else keeping an eye on her movements. Both sides tended to follow their target till one dropped their civvies and then it was free game. That was most likely all it was and they were going to be very disappointed. All she wanted was to stuff herself full of warm noodles and broth.

Slapping on a grin, she strode through the doors and called out to the old man behind the counter. They talked for a bit and discussed a new recipe he was trying out whilst his daughter served up a bowl to Naruto. The taste of salt and fat melted on her tongue and just for a minute, she let herself forget anything of concern. Just her, ramen, and the white noise of the restaurant.

It still wasn't enough for her to consider another bowl like usual. Kakashi would've already smacked her head if he knew she had ate while someone was trailing her. What if they attacked, Naruto? You'll be too busy vomiting to stop them from catching you! And let me tell you what they would do once they did in vivid details. With included graphs of course.

Great mentor. Bad everything else.

Sadly declining another bowl, she rose from the stool and casually made her way out of the restaurant. As soon as the door closed behind, she was glancing around to see if anything was different. Nothing was different which could mean the stalker had left. Or at least was waiting for her to leave. At this rate nothing was going to happen from their end and that left her no choice but to start shit on her own.

At least just to make them back off before she headed home. Taking a quick turn down an alley, Naruto went a few feet before breaking out into a sprint. Clambering over a dumpster, she lept and snagged the tail end of a fire escape. A few moments later and she was alone on the rooftops.

Not even giving a pause to check her surroundings, the girl sped over the cracked cement and jumped from roof to roof. The buildings in this area were jam-packed together like sadrines and she could vaguely remember training on them. These jumps were easy and didn't even require to roll on impact. Right now, that made it easy to gain some distance until she reached a safe spot up ahead.

Soon, she was doubled over panting in a little dead-end alley sheltered by looming walls and criss-crossed clothesline. The only way out was a tight squeeze flanked by two large dumpsters. Kakashi had been the one to guide her here and explain that while you couldn't jump down here or climb out, that meant no one else could. A good place to rest and call for help if needed.

Of course, Naruto lacked a phone. Which was her own dumb fault earlier for leaving it at home. Now she was stuck here and the apartment was the opposite way.

Worst part was she could still fell herself being watched. An overwhelming sense that pricked at her skin and made her breaths shorten into gasps. Backing further into a corner, she struggled to calm herself down and try to make sense of the situation.

Naruto was being followed. The person had been able to tail her easily even as she ran. No attack yet; why? Were they waiting for her to reveal herself as a cape? No, they would have realized she wasn't switching to that tonight. Okay so, they didn't care about that.

Nothing appeared in that little opening, but the sense of dread seemed to double and buckle down on her. That was a normal response but-

Mental attack? Always a chance even if that was rare. If they wanted her dead though they were taking their time doing it. Unless they were just toying with Naruto until she did something funny and they either struck or left.

Or, Naruto was just becoming a parinoid sack of bones like Kakashi. That made more sense actually than anything else so far. Ever since she had come back from that mess with Gaara, every shadow had a monster hidden and each odd noise would herald her death. Even now, passing by a pile of sand had her jittery!

Once again, her problems boiled down to 'fuck you Gaara'. With a nice dash of, 'you suck at raising kids Kakashi'. Per the usual.


	3. Plant Food - zetsunaruto

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From an AU where Naruto is a witch and Yamato is very stressed and tired. Life is hard when you look like a child and also you're a vampire. 
> 
> He's not important in this though.
> 
> No warnings. Fem! Naruto

Naruto didn't even notice the man was there until she turned to water the next plants and that slim body took up her entire view. For a moment the sun setting behind him cast such a harsh glare that he seemed to be only half-a-person; a dark blur that resembled part of a torso and arm. Then she blinked and he was just an odd man with a shirt that had, 'mommas boy' airbrushed over it and the oddest skin discoloration she had seen yet. Vitiligo right down the middle.

Odd, but she wasn't rude to any of the customers at the nursery and quickly set down the watering can and chirped out the standard, 'hi-what-do-you-need' spiel.

In the almost entire minute it took him to answer, she matched gazes with him and noticed that he had such vivid eyes. Fake? Had to be; that shade of yellow didn't come naturally. Oh, and when he did speak, she spied a bit of filed teeth.

"You have very healthy plants," he said as he gestured to the nearby aloes, "what do you use on them?"

"Rain water, good fertilizer, and lots of love," she exclaimed right back like she did fifty times a day. "You won't find plants like these anywhere else, and our prices can't be beat!"

His eyes had drifted back to the aloes, and Naruto started talking about those specific ones and how much they cost. As she started in on the natural benefits of the cuttings his fingers pulled a large clump of dirt from the pot. Then the man went and just-

Popped the dirt into his mouth. And chewed. All while staring at her as Naruto let her sales pitch just peter out into nothing. He really seemed to be into it, she thought aimlessly, really tasting that processed shit. Then he actually swallowed and commented,

"That wasn't good at all."

"Well, uh-no it isn't going to be."

When he picked up the watering can Naruto didn't even try to stop him. Instead, she frantically glanced around for Yamato and prayed he was making his rounds nearby soon. As the man drank from the spout, she saw her boss and almost cried with joy when Yamato noticed her panicked face and started heading right over. Despite the fact that he was stuck looking like a kid, Yamato managed to somehow still be intimidating enough to scare off most trouble-makers. When he was a few feet away, Naruto opened her mouth to explain the situation when a hand grabbed her chin.

It turned her towards the stranger who now had water dripping off his chin and a rather annoyed expression.

"That fertilizer was terrible and the water was tasty- **it was shit and too cold** -but neither one was what I wanted- **and love isn't even a thing**."

Yeah. This guy was definitely not someone she wanted to be talking to anymore. Even just the way his voice sounded as it deepened and rose in pitch between words hinted that he was either had a condition or wasn't sober at all. Those eyes seemed clear enough though as he leaned in closer and gave her a clear view of all those teeth. Teeth that seemed impossibly white and Naruto never realized just how many teeth could fit in a mouth.

"We are  **starving**."

Yamato worked his way between the two of them and shoved the man away from Naruto. Despite only reaching her waist, Yamato planted his fists on his hips and fixed the man with a cold glare; one that usually made even grizzled veterans cringe a little. The man just stared down at him curiously, as if watching a tiny lapdog yipping.

"Sir, I must ask you to leave," Yamato commanded, "you are being disruptive and aggressive towards this employee. If you do not vacate the premises now, I will be forced to remove you."

If Naruto hadn't of already known Yamato, she would have found his bravado rather cute. After a few years of working under him that effect had been worn away and now she just hoped this man would just turn and walk away so everything can go back of normal. The man himself seemed thoughtful, and she could see him muttering soundlessly to himself as if discussing something with an unseen friend. Then he just…turned.

Turned right around and walked away from the both of them without a fuss. As he turned the corner towards the entrance and disappeared Naruto could only let out a sigh of relief and gather up the now empty watering cat. Before she could go to fill it backup, Yamato took it from her hands and gestured for her to head inside.

"It's the full moon remember? You have to rest up for tonight."

"Ah, are you sure? What if that weirdo comes back?"

"Naruto," he chided softly with a smile, "if he does I'll just bite his ankles."

That made her laugh and just like that the mood was lifted and the awkwardness of the situation previous had faded away into nothing. Giving her thanks, Naruto headed back inside the main building to take a nap before her night shift started. Flopping onto the worn couch she closed her eyes and tried not to think about the odd stranger anymore.

—-

The night air was just as muggy as the day's had been, and it made her late shift all the worse to manage. Yamato had said the guy hadn't shown up again, but he had already searched the place over just in case. Still, he cautioned Naruto to be careful, to not hesitate to call for him if the man did come back while she was out.

Dressed for bed in cotton shorts and a ratty shirt, Naruto stepped out into the main nursery and dug her toes into the still-warm dirt. As she walked past the rows of plants, she started taking in large breaths of humid air to 'stretch out' her lungs and ready herself for the most important part of her job here. The one Yamato had hired her for in the first place, and the one that had always given her so much trouble in life.

When she reached her usual spot, the exact middle of the nursery, Naruto took one more readying breath and let her eyes close. The tarps stretched out above blocked out the moonlight, but she could still feel the pull tugging at her spirit. Urging her and testing the bonds she kept herself under.

Letting out her breath she broke those boundaries and started to sing.

Before she really taught herself how to properly spell there had been words used during these sessions. It was a waste of air though and now she only used a mixture of high and low notes to weave the spellwork over the plants. As the minutes passed she could feel the threads of her magic seep into the pots and wrap around the hair-width roots growing there. The magic she cast gave simple direction:

Be strong. Be fruitful. A long life to be lived and a core than can withstand trouble. Her life and spirit given to the plants through her song.

Love given freely along with good soil and water.

It's what made these plants so vibrant and healthy compared to others. Maybe it could be considering cheating since most nurseries couldn't afford to keep a witch on the payroll but…well she didn't really care. A job was a job and Naruto was lucky enough to find one she was good at! With a good boss too! He didn't even complain about the copious amounts of ramen she ingested daily.

'This really is perfect', she thought as her song reached a higher pitch around the annuals, 'not much can ruin it.'

A hand snatched her wrist, and she suddenly regretted that thought as she spun to face her aggressor. It was the man from before. As she tried to shout for Yamato, his hand clamped over her lips and dug into her cheeks. Even when she kicked out and thrashed, he was strong enough to force her back against the wall and keep her pinned there. Gnashing her teeth against the palm, Naruto fought until her breathing became ragged, and she could only push pathetically against his hold.

Now that she was still, the man seemed to relax his hold and the pressure lessened until it was no longer painful. Naruto noticed now that his skin was a stark black and white under the moonlight and his eyes seemed far brighter. Inhuman. Damn it.

Yamato would be coming out to check on her soon. He could take care of whatever this thing was pressing against her and moving their face every closer …and… why did the mouth only stretch on one side?!

"So sneaky of you to do," he chided and even 'tsk'd' at her, "to try and lie about your plants- **trying to keep us hungry**."

Naruto shook her head to try and appease them even as her brain worked to try and figure out what they meant. Lying? She didn't lie about the plants–she never lied about them! All he had asked was what made them so healthy and she hadn't kept that a secret. Fertilizer and water with-

Oh. For fucks sake.

He wanted her magic to feed off of much like the plants did. No wonder they had come back when she was spell weaving-it was like waving a bloody steak in front of Yamato! Then again if she could fend him off like Yamato then perhaps this problem could be fixed. Or at least fixed enough that this asshole could flounce right off and leave Naruto to enjoy her simple life as a gardener.

Sucking in a breath, she released a small bit of magic against the palm covering her lips. She felt his body stiffen before the hand was removed and she could breathe easier again. His face came closer to hers, and she could see the odd divide in his face now; a small line down the middle as if two side we're glued together. It was certainly something she had never seen before in her life, and she wondered what exactly this being was. Then, he pinned her against the wall like a cheap dime novel villain.

"More," he breathed and he was so close now, " **feed us**."

Naruto did as told and let her magic flow freely again. There didn't seem to be a reason to use song now; this creature just wanted to soak it up. Raw and loose. Breathing out, she flinched as he suddenly moved closer until their noses were touching and he sucked in her breath like he was dying from lack of it. Trying not to pull away Naruto kept her breaths and watched as a curling grin spilt the black skin of half the face. Unable to look at that toothy mouth, she instead focused on his eyes as they bored into hers. The intensity of that look, hunger and craving, made her stomach churn, and Naruto wondered if she had made a mistake.

It was too late now.

When her supply finally ran low, he kept her body from collapsing and picked her up like a rag-doll. Setting her stretched out on a table, Naruto tried to focus her cloudy mind enough to say something to him. Mostly a well-rounded insult and an invite to profane his body with a cactus and witch hazel. Nothing came through the mud in her brain though and all she could do was lay there and-

Was his hair growing flowers?

It was. Under the moonlight she could see the individual vines curl over his face and bloom with tiny white flowers no larger than her pinky nail. Her hand shakily went up to touch them and oddly enough the man dipped his head to let her. The blooms were soft and as she gently brushed over them a sweet smell reached her. It was like lillies with the oddest of undertones. Unable to work her brain enough to figure it out, Naruto just settled for picking one of the blooms and carefully cupping her palm over it.

Above her, the man gave a huff of laughter and whispered a promise to come back when he next hungered. Then he was gone in just a blink of her eye.

Jerk. Didn't even pay.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A part from a dumb angsty thing I was working on. This is the only part I still like.
> 
> I love mythos
> 
> No warnings and no pairings. Still taking requests.

Chiyo settled back into her chair and sucked thoughtfully on the hard candy. As the silence reached into five minutes, Naruto started to wonder if the old granny had died right there. Shit, that was exactly the last thing she needed right now. Maybe she should call back that creepy redhead and-

Oh, she was alive. And talking now in that cracking voice,

"My favorite had to be, 'Bride of the Weasel'. Now, that was a goodie to hear back as a little brat. None of that, 'let me save the virgin' mess either. Ah, just thinking about it really takes me back to when my mother told it to my brother and I. He never appreciated though, always more into those nasty-"

"What's the story?" Naruto prompted with only a bit of impaitence lacing her tone. It was still enough to make the old lady huff and suck harder on the candy.

"Fine, you brat. So, it goes that there was a horrible god called Kamatari who made his home atop plateaus. It's said that they could weave winds into fierce gales and would destroy many of the desert villages with these storms. Right old bastard he was, I'm told.

"The only thing that stopped him was offering up young women as 'brides'. I still have no idea why they called them that or why it was always women. I suppose old fashioned sexism and also to sugarcoat what would happen when they went up there. Saying someone's a bride might be kinder than calling you 'dinner', I suppose. Personally, I prefer the truth. White lies never help."

Outside the room, Naruto heard the grandson make an odd coughing noise. Chiyo never paused.

"Now, see Kamatari kept his home surrounded by gale winds that could slice right into you. Your body would be in six different places by the time you realized how dead you were, so great it was! The brides though, he would let them come through. It was the only opening he ever gave.

"In a village, or hovel depending, that was nearby there would be a girl sent twice a year to appease him. I guessing you're smart enough to figure out why this was destroying them and how desperate they were getting. So, the daughter of the village head offered herself up next as the newest. But, only if-pay attention here-if she could choose the gifts that would be offered up along side."

By this point, Naruto had realized this story might not be very helpful, but it was still worth a listen. Even if she was only facing a demon, maybe some things that defeated a god would work. Wasn't a god just a trumped up demon anyways?

"Layers of silks and fabric wrapped into knots around her underclothes. A large chest of gold and spices to sweeten the deal. The dowry that a queen deserved instead of some haughty girl from a mud shack. In exchange, she promised to be the last bride. So, of course she got her way and bid her village goodbye. Here, I should add a few spots of how beloved she was by all and was beautiful, but that's just filler in the end and pointless. She kissed her brothers goodbye and let herself be dressed as the chest was packed. Then, she was gone to the Kamatari's home."

From the edge of her sight, Naruto caught Chiyo's grandson hovering at the kitchen doorway. There was sandpaper and a wooden sculpture in his hands, but his lazy eyes rested on the old lady as she talked. For a moment, he almost looked fond of her.

"Don't ask me how she got the damn chest up there, I have no idea. The winds were lifted and she was spared that death for another. One of teeth grinding her down into gristle and splintered bones."

That familiar wording made Naruto flinch and clench the slipcover fabric tightly. Sasori watched her with curiosity, and she ignored it completely.

"Forming from the air, the god dropped down before the bride. His body was miles long and twisted into knots along the length. Oh, and that face. Snarling and gnashing with so many teeth and such wild eyes dotting his face. The only beauty that overgrown weasel could claim was it's shimmering white fur."

"Wait, it was a weasel?", Naruto interrupted.

"I said it was, didn't I? Do I need to go over each stupid thing, or can I trust you to just shut up and imagine it?"

Sasori snorted in amusement as Naruto ground her teeth and gave a jerky nod. Chiyo preened and gave an obnoxious suck of the candy before continuing, "As I was saying, it was an ugly beast that showed itself to the bride. She never flinched though and spread her arms in welcome to him. 'Behold your bride,' she proclaimed, 'here of her own will and desire to serve you.'

"Ha! I like to think the fool was confused, but nothing is said about that. Let it be known that he, like most men, wanted to get right to the nitty-gritty. It was demanded of her to strip off the cloth so he could eat her. Instead, she bade Kamatari to untie each knot as they were too complicated for one set of hands. Fussing and snapping, the god did just that."

"Woah, wait," Naruto interrupted again and ignored Chiyo's snort, "he just did it? No arguing?"

"Well maybe, just maybe, he knew when to shut up and listen. A good quality to have I hear. Now, anything else to add?"

A head shake and Chiyo continued,

"Now, while they struggled with the knots the lid of that heavy chest silently slid off and revealed her two brothers. It was known that no mere mortal could defeat a god, but perhaps three of them could pose a greater threat. While their sister distracted Kamatari, the eldest brother gave a thin garrote to the younger and told him to wait for an opening. For while the eldest was strong and sturdy of build, the other was small and agile enough to hide himself in shadows. And so, he did as told as the older readied their own blade."

A smile had wormed its way between Chiyo's jowls and Naruto guessed that the best part was coming up. Even her grandson had dropped the act of sanding and openly showed his interest.

"It was the last knot that revealed the ruse. As the fabric fell, the bride pulled her tessen from her wrappings and slashed deep across the gods eyes. With the scream that tore from it's throat, she answered with her own as her brother lunged to stab at the beast. Blinded and enraged, it flailed and tried to summon the winds to tear the siblings into peices. The bride danced around its own movements and with her fan would force it into an opening for her brothers blade. Even as its blood steamed on her skin and ate into it, she pushed it back. It didn't take long for ribbons of blood to fly over the sand. Oh, but that would be too easy.

"Winds came to the summons of their master. Unable to direct them without sight, the wind tore wildly and became a crushing force instead of a blade. Still, it drove the siblings back from the god towards the cliffs edge. They clung to the rocks as they toppled over and pressed themselves to the face. Both the fan and blade were lost."

Naruto couldn't help but lean in at the pause. It was rather obvious at what would happen next, but she could understand how a child would feel listening to this. It was rather good drama.

"The youngest, small enough to cling to the weasels back unnoticed, took his chance. Gripping fur slick with blood, he crawled to the neck and looped the garrote over its fat neck. Then pulled. Even as the blades dug into his own hands he never lessened his hold. He rode that bastard like it was a wild horse until Kamatari finally fell in a heap. With palms and hands sliced to bone, the brother was overjoyed to see his siblings crawl back over the edge as the winds died. They embraced each other and shed happy tears. The bride had kept her promise and she would give so much more to her home."

Chiyo unwrapped another candy and popped it into her mouth. She still smiled, but it now held a hint of dark amusement.

"For, the woman cut out the heart and devoured it. Her body shed it's flesh and muscle as she rose again. As a god of her own making."


End file.
